The PNE. For those of you who are unaware of this annual event, think Calgary Stampede, think the CNE, think massive amounts of people buying massive amounts of junk food and spinning around on rides testing their stomach strength. But also, picture massive amounts of people clapping along to acts like En Vogue, Rick Springfield, Chilliwack and walking around with their newly purchased Sham Wow. It's magical, really. And that was last year!!
This year its a whole new ball game. The 100th anniversary of the PNE. 100 years! That means that this,
is 100 years old. Yikes.
This year promises to be crazy! Especially because there is going to be an audience full of lesbians screaming at the free Joan Jett concert this Friday. It's going to feel like Gay Day at the PNE, but it's not. All the suburban moms and dads are going to have alot of 'esplaining to do!
This year is also different for Cool J and I. We have lived in Vancouver for many, many years. We have frequented the PNE, pigged out on mini donuts (OMG, I love those things) and watched the Super Dogs. We have witnessed the parking lot craziness that creates gridlock on Hastings. But what we haven't done is lived 2 blocks away from the PNE while in session. When we bought this house, Jimmy (the previous owner aptly named after his willy-nilly approach to home renovations) told us that he made his property tax money in parking for the PNE.
What? That's like a couple thousand dollars. Cool J had the big idea of taking all of her vacation days over the summer and sitting out back charging people to park in our alley. We even think the little shed out back was a ticket booth at one point.
We didn't see the potential of making money until last Sunday rolled around. Holy crap. This neighbourhood was nuts! The PNE offered free admission to the fairgrounds before noon. We had gotten up early to go for breakfast and do a bit of grocery shopping. By the time we got back, all we could see were elderly asian ladies running in all directions, arms flailing in the air, leading cars to park in the backyards, garages and alleyways. Some yards had 5-6 cars in them!! The going rate was $25/day!! $35 if you were on the main street. Holy crap.
Before you knew it we were in on the action. It took 1 minute to get someone to take the spot. We realized a little while back that Jimmy jimmy'd the back fence to "unfold" so he could fit as many cars in his yard as possible. Still haven't figured out how to "unfold" the fence but we could double our income!
So those of you who plan to drive to the PNE and plan to park, look for me. I'll be wearing a beach hat, flip flops and waving my arms in the air. Just follow me down the alley as I run towards our house.
And we may not be watching the Beatles or Elvis perform this year, but Joan Jett, Cyndi Lauper and Trooper are just as good! Oh, and one more thing: remember to wash your hands after you pet the farm animals and before you eat the mini donuts.